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Struggling to make friends at university? You’re not alone, and the good news is—you’ve got this.
In this post, we’ll explore how to make friends at university while staying true to yourself. Spoiler alert: the secret isn’t forcing yourself into uncomfortable situations; it’s all about being you. Let’s dive in!
The Big Lie About Making Friends at University
Let’s address the elephant in the room—most advice about making friends at uni is pretty cookie-cutter: “Join societies! Get your Fresher’s Week wristband! Go clubbing!”
But what if those aren’t your vibe? What if the thought of chaotic parties and random small talk makes you cringe?
Here’s the truth: society loves to sell you on the idea that there’s a one-size-fits-all formula for making friends. But really? It’s about finding people who connect with you—your real self.
Being an Introvert at University Isn’t a Problem
Are you introverted, shy, or just someone who likes their own company? That’s not a flaw—it’s just who you are.
Some days you might want to chill in your room watching Netflix or gaming, and guess what? That’s perfectly fine! Introverts thrive in smaller, meaningful interactions, and there’s no need to change who you are to fit in.
Arthur Schopenhauer once said, “A man can be himself only so long as he is alone, and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom, for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.”
Let that sink in—it’s a reminder that being comfortable with yourself is the foundation for building genuine connections.
Feeling Lonely at Uni? Let’s Talk About It
We all have those days where we wish we had someone to hang out with. It’s normal. But here’s the thing—forcing yourself into activities you don’t enjoy just to find friends can backfire.
Instead of feeling connected, you might feel awkward or out of place. Worse, you might even end up in toxic friendships where you’re laughed at rather than with.
So, what’s the solution? Stop chasing after acceptance in the wrong places. Your people are out there, but you’ll never find them if you’re too busy pretending to be someone you’re not.
Should You Join a Society to Make Friends at University?
Let’s clear this up: societies can be amazing for meeting people, but only if they genuinely interest you.
Love gaming? Join the gaming society. Into photography? There’s probably a club for that too. The key is to show up for things you actually enjoy—not because someone told you to.
When you’re genuinely invested in an activity, conversations flow naturally. People pick up on your enthusiasm, and connections form without you having to force anything.
“I Don’t Drink—Can I Still Make Friends at University?”
Yes, 100%. Not everyone at university is obsessed with clubbing or drinking. Many students prefer chill meetups, study groups, or hobby-based hangouts.
If you’re not into the party scene, don’t feel pressured to join in. Instead, focus on spaces where you feel comfortable. Think coffee shops, library study sessions, or casual society events.
Remember, confidence comes from being comfortable with your choices. Own who you are, and the right people will respect that.
How to Start Real Conversations at Uni if Shy
Talking about your interests is a great icebreaker. Whether it’s gaming, binge-watching true crime shows, or your obsession with baking, sharing your passions makes you approachable.
Here’s a tip: don’t overthink how “weird” your hobbies might sound. Odds are, someone else feels the same way and is waiting for you to bring it up.
Love gaming? Mention the latest game you’re hooked on. Into movies? Ask what people think about a trending film. Small conversations can lead to bigger connections.
The Power of Being Yourself
You might have heard it a million times, but it’s worth repeating: be yourself. If someone thinks you’re boring or “weird,” they’re not your people. True friendships aren’t about fitting into a mould—they’re about mutual respect and shared interests.
Build Confidence First
If making friends feels daunting, start by working on your confidence. Understand that being introverted isn’t a flaw—it’s just your personality.
Confidence isn’t about being the loudest person in the room; it’s about being comfortable in your own skin. Need some tips? Check out our guide on boosting confidence at university.
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Final Thoughts: Making Friends as an Introvert
Here’s the bottom line: making friends at university isn’t about doing things you hate or changing who you are. It’s about being yourself and finding people who appreciate you for it.
Stop worrying about fitting into groups that don’t align with your interests. Your real friends will love you for you.
So, go out there, speak freely about your passions, and don’t be afraid to spend time alone when you need it.
As Schopenhauer wisely pointed out, loving your solitude is the first step to true freedom—and meaningful connections will follow.
Remember: You’ve got this. Be yourself, always!
FAQs on How To Make Friends at University
1. How can introverts make friends at university?
Introverts can make friends at university by embracing their authentic selves and connecting with others who share similar interests. Joining small groups, participating in niche clubs, or even starting conversations in relaxed settings can help.
2. Do I need to join clubs or societies to make friends at university?
Not necessarily. While clubs and societies can be great for meeting people, the key is finding activities that genuinely interest you. Authentic connections come from shared passions.
3. How do I overcome shyness to make friends at university?
Start small—engage in one-on-one conversations or small group settings. Practice self-confidence, focus on shared interests, and don’t be afraid to talk about your hobbies or passions.
4. Is it okay to spend time alone at university?
Absolutely! Alone time is important for recharging, especially for introverts. Balancing social interactions with personal time ensures your well-being.
5. What if I don’t like drinking or partying—can I still make friends?
Of course! Many students prefer quieter activities. Explore alternatives like study groups, hobby clubs, or volunteering opportunities to meet like-minded peers.
6. How do I handle feelings of loneliness at university?
Acknowledge your feelings and take small steps to connect with others. Reach out to classmates, participate in community events, or consider speaking with a university support group.
7. Can I make friends at university without changing who I am?
Yes, being yourself is the best way to form meaningful friendships. Genuine relationships are built on mutual respect and shared understanding, not on pretending to be someone else.
Student essentials, everything you need for university!
We have ad-hoc essential lists for various facets of university life:
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Study from home essentials, the simple the better;
Student accommodation essentials, most useful & forgotten;
Kitchen essentials for university, self-catered halls and student flats;
Coolest gadgets for university students, innovative and useful; (perfect for gifts!)